Discovering Doris

Working toward doing less come next year :)

2009-12-03T17:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend marks the second to last weekend that I devote 21 hours to yoga teacher training. This weekend and the weekend of the the 18th are the two final workshop weekends. Following the final yoga teacher training weekend I will continue working with a mentor, take classes, and eventually by sometime in February I will officially teach my first class.

It has been an amazing journey; one that will continue until one day when I take my last breath.

AND I am looking forward to studying at my pace and creating more time for the people I love. They have been so patient with me. I have letters to write. Packages to send. Cities to visit. Emails and phone calls to return. Babies to meet. Photos to take. Movies to see. People to hug, laugh, and hold hands with. AND kids to squeeze.

I am looking forward to doing less of what is demanded of me on a strict time line and more of what I love to do...play and freely share my heart.

Intention officially being set. :) oxoxox

7 Years

2009-11-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

Who would have thought that one day I would meet a man of my dreams, in AmeriCorps? Ummm.... I believed in the power of intention and I entered that organization with hopes that I would find a man who also shared the passion of doing service. And boy did I. Jason was and is an exemplary being who demonstrates continued service. However, I never thought that he was also the true meaning of unconditional love. What a delightful surprise.

Our first assignment was helping to build houses for Habitat for Humanity. I remember the first time Jay and I were near each other...It was on Pine Street and I asked him how to use a skill saw. He generously and playfully showed me and we began to get to know one another. We had yoga, vegetarianism, and our at-risk youth background in common.

I was secretly interested in him and I put up a slight front, an old pattern of protecting my heart. Then something major happened. My father died. I began to pray really hard and developed trust that there was something bigger in this universe to help me survive the shattered heart of losing mi papi. I was suddenly hit with the motto,"Life's too short to..." Life's to short to hold back love.

So, I allowed myself to do what I was scared of. That's when I reminded myself that it was okay to fall...to fall in love.

He asked me to marry him two weeks later. He had found a way for us to be sent to the same destination in the Peace Corps. "There is a way to be sent to the same assignment."(I began to giggle while walking through the gorgeous blowing fall leaves in Lexington, KY.) "We can apply together if we are engaged." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. His left hand rested on my upper right arm. Then all ten of his fingers slid down into my fingers and we were holding eachother's hands in front of us. He looked into my eyes, "So, Doris. Will you marry me?!" His brows lifted, his sunflower eyes widened in anticipation, and his breath was slightly held. My mind flashed forward...maybe three full seconds passed..."Yeah." I responded smiling. He began to breathe. I began to breathe and we both relaxed our shoulders. Huge wide grins appeared before me...on both his and my lips.

That was 7 years ago to this day.

Ultimately, we opted not to go into the Peace Corps or get married and we still celebrate this special moment.

Jason has been there for me through thick and thin. We continue to get to know and love one another more and more every day.

Sometimes I think my father placed Jason in my life.

I am truly grateful for the gift of a beautiful man, best friend, and true love.

Beginning Anew

2009-11-15T20:10:00.001-08:00

Now is the start of a new moment.

New things are going on all around me. Change is constantly in the air. Yoga teacher training, couples therapy, somatic experiencing, sobriety, healing...

Look for new postings...they are culminating inside my mind and heart and will find themselves on these pages soon.

Tashi Delek

2008-10-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest, I thought I would be posting blogs daily and it just hasn't been the case...for many causes and conditions. However, I posting one now!

Currently, I am in Bir. In the state of Himachel Pradesh. The mountains and weather remind me of Boulder at it's best. The sky is a pool of blue. The crisp view of the mountains make me smile especially when a paraglider floats by. The hundreds of prayer flags dance in the wind.

In the mornings, I see the sun rise as I shower using my warm bucket of water. Hallelujah for warm water!

I am meditating, reading the Dharma, staying clear of intoxicants, offering English conversation to a student of a local monastary.

I've been in Bir for a few weeks and now I see many familiar faces...I greet them by saying "tashi delek" with my hands clasped at my heart and a slight bow. THe people here are soooo sooo kind, warm, and caring.

I miss my loved ones back home AND I am in love with this paradise that I am blessed to walk in daily.
I am finding peace, inspiration, and strength from within.

Tashi Delek!

[Credit to Szeke for picture above]

His Holiness The Dalai Lama

2008-09-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a special day. His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama gave teachings on Buddhism here in McLeod Ganj (Dharamsala).
As he walked out of his home and towards his seat, tears filled my eyes and deep joy filled my heart.
He offers depth of hope, compassion, and knowledge for so many.
This sentient being is a gift to humanity.
Tomorrow I will rise and attend another day of teachings and I am incredibly grateful.

Pondicherry is wondrous

2008-08-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

Pondicherry is a town 3 hours south of Chennai.

This evening as I was riding my bike through this part French and part Indian town I found myself at a temple festival. I was mostly allured by the elephant that was "giving blessings." If you fed it it tapped your head. A little boy brought two green apples and the elephant snuffed them with his snout and brought it to it's mouth and ate them..then tapped the little one. The boy and I both smiled. As I was leaving this local temple bizarre I bought some jasmine flowers for my hair b/c I've seen locals wear them and I too wanted to smell lovely while living in this very damp and hot atmosphere. I wasn't sure how to place it in my hair...a woman noticed and silently walked over to me from her family. She motioned that she could do it. I turned around and through the corner of my eye I witnessed her remove a bobby-pin from her hair and place it in mine to properly hold up my flowers. I was so moved by her generosity. I felt myself begin to well up. I thanked her with a small bow and smile and walked over to my bike. As I was unlocking my bike a young man said, "You look like a beautiful Indian woman." I smiled. I certainly smelled like one. :) In three days I leave for Trivandrum for my two week retreat. Sending hugs and love.

Chennai, India

2008-08-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

I have arrived. I've slept many hours as I am catching up on the 9 hour difference in time.
Sooooo much has already happened and I am keeping track of it in my daily journal. I'll share a few things I am grateful for: sweet dosas for breakfast, time to meditate and practice yoga, friendly folks at the hotel, talking to Jason and watching his little video on my camera.

I'll write more soon.
India is intense in beautiful and some painful ways. All of it is rich.

Love love

I'm leaving on a Jet Plane

2008-08-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

In about 2 days I will be flying to India! As you can imagine, I feel excited, a little nervous, and overwhelmed. I need to get everything packed and prepared before I venture off for three months. Sometimes I have to stop myself in my tracks and breathe. (Like right now :) Or think of things to be thankful for. Like the girls in this pic: Eve and Sophia make my heart smile. They are two of my favorite little friends.

Highlights regarding this trip:

~Jason bought me an awesome camera for graduation that I will take with me on this journey. Thank you honey.

~I am looking forward to meeting my dear friend, Arpita's grandparents who live in Chennai. We will be meeting for lunch.

~I feel so much love and support from my friends and family.

~The fact that I am actually going to INDIA for THREE months is actually sinking in! :)

~I ran into a long-time friend who I haven't seen in over 4 years while I was sitting at a cafe in NYC. What are the chances of that? And her parents happened to recently moved to Chennai! Gayathri is was so good to see you!!

I love magical moments like that.

Okay, so I'm going to the store to buy an adaptor to charge my camera in India, make a copy of my passport, buy a 2 gig memory card and then I'm heading to Patsy's with Jay .

Next time I write I will be across the world.

Love love love!

Get your motor running...

2008-07-17T21:22:00.000-07:00

The time to head for India is nearing. I recently just found the hotel I will stay at for the first night in Chennai. I have yet to book it. I need to get the ball rolling for I will be in this amazing country for 3 months and I leave in just a little over a month. When I tell people I am traveling alone there is a pause of fear and then an expression of support and awe. I will do my best to be careful. I continue to hear about how it is dangerous for a woman to travel solo. I also have talked to many women who have traveled solo to India and they passed on words of wisdom to me. Men will grab you, follow you, stare, rub up against you, lie to you, ....there are ways to protect yourself. Be around other women, never walk alone at night, follow your intuition, wear sunglasses so as not to make eye contact, wear a fake wedding ring, shame them, dress conservatively (unlike in photo above;)...and the list continues especially as I read the wonderful novel "Holy Cow" by Katherine MacDonald. I am going to be okay. (Especially if you all pray for me while I am there and send angels my way. )

Okay, time to find two ashrams: one in Pudicherry and one in Varanasi and make reservations.

As for Dharamsala, I will find a place to stay for a few evenings and then will wing the rest...wow! The universe is holding me and I am ever so thankful.

My passport is on it's way to San Fransisco to get stamped by the Indian Embassy

2008-06-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

I've applied for my Indian Visa. I made is over to Fed-Ex yesterday and included

my:

1. Application

2.Passport

3.Two updated photographs <----see photo on left

4. Copy of my license as proof of address

5. Receipt of fee

The package should arrive in San Fran by Wednesday and should be sent back to me in Boulder a few days after that.

YAY!!!

I'm still looking into retreat sites and ashrams. I've found many interesting places and it's all about narrowing it down from here.

Sending blessings!

I'm traveling to India in August

2008-05-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

So, I've decided to take a trip to India as a graduation gift to myself. The photo here is of me on graduation day trying to immitate a dance from the movie Monsoon Wedding. :) I leave for this incredible exploration August 21st and I return November 19th or thereabouts. I have applied to a retreat center and have been accepted. It is in Mumbai and is a 10-day retreat. I'm not certain that I will attend the retreat yet, but it is an option. There are so many places to visit, and I still have a lot of reading to do before I fly out there. I'm currently reading The Lonely Planet Guide to India, Traveler's Tales India, Culture Smart! India, and eventually will start on Nectar in a Sieve.

I'm interested in visiting where the Buddha reached enlightenment in Bodgaya, I'd like to visit Pondicherry, I fly into Chennai, I may stop in Delhi and then stay a while in Dharamsala. I was reading a story yesterday about Goa and tengo ganas para ir alla tambien.

I'm working on getting my visa and learning more about the monsoon as the annual monsoon will direct my travel...where it is-I will not be.

I'm looking forward to piecing my trip together, mapping it out.. and I am open to the universe's plan and will allow things to unfold naturally.

Blessings!